“How is Joy? And the baby?” For the past year I’ve wondered if everything was okay-if they were okay or not. And then Joy went into labor, and I had to-”

And maybe we never talked about it being anything beyond a fling, but I wanted it to be more. He props his elbows on his knees and leans forward. At least for me, anyway.” RJ keeps running his hands over his thighs. “Maybe it started out that way, but it was a lot more than that. But my heart says something different, and hope beats like a hummingbird’s wings against the fragile cage inside. It was a summer fling.” I say the words because it’s what I’ve told myself in my head this past year. “We lived on different ends of the country-it wasn’t like a long-distance relationship was an option after six weeks together. “Because you never planned to see me again after Alaska,” I shoot back. “I had a reason for keeping the truth from you, Lainey, and I never meant for it to hurt you.”

“Not the way you think.” He exhales a long, slow breath, his expression pained. “I’m sure that was purposeful, giving me a name that would be impossible to search.” Before I found out who and what he is, I’d idealized him in my head, but now. It feels like everything between us balanced on that lie, RJ-or should I just call you Rook?” “Very confused and anxious,” I say honestly. I take one of the single chairs, and RJ sits on the love seat perpendicular to me. I’m fortunate my apartment is subsidized by my job at the aquarium, otherwise I’d never be able to afford it.

Helena hunting a lie for a lie